Today is ok :)

So the last few days have been pretty good overall I must admit. Sunday we went to church at the local group and stayed for six hours, two hours of church and 4 hours of talking eating and board games. We have really enjoyed getting to know these two families and will miss them when they leave later this year!

Monday I went to a local village (only 40 min away) that is home to some "long neck" people who put metal coils around their necks, and legs too sometimes, to lengthen them. They also break their teeth and paint the stubs black. There were some cute kids running around and I couldn't help but wonder how God chooses what homes to send his children to. In my limited perspective I would judge there to be great differences in experiences between growing up in the huts there and the slums of Detroit and the mansions of Northville for example. Not sure that any of those are particularly great places to be happily raised, but I guess it matters more who your parents are and if you feel loved, safe and able to have your needs met. Hmmm. Well, it made me thankful for my life and my kids and my extended family and all their kids. Family=happiness for sure!

Kids are still struggling with school, especially Hannah and Analeah. There are only four girls in Hannah's grade who are non-asian (Korean or Thai) and they happen to be very rich and pretty mean-girl in every sense. (Nice to your face, sometimes. Rude and self-centered most often. Totally ignore you the rest of the time.) This has been extremely hard on Hannah who has had the same best friend from second grade, and a pretty decent sized group of girls who were well liked as friends. She is coping by trying to reach out to two other ostracized asian girls, Mok (a thai girl who is new), and Mao (a chinese girl who is actually Analeah's age but is not able to write/read english at HS level yet so is attending 7th grade). Both are coming over Thursday to celebrate Hannah's 13th birthday. A very different scenario that what she had planned for earlier this year before we knew we would move in April. I hope it turns out ok!

Analeah seems resigned to her fate at ISE. She has made some acquaintances, but no one that seems to stand out yet. She misses swim team, stake friends and her small circle of school friends. The ward leaders here have seemed to discourage my girls from attending girls camp, as they will be the only "english speaking" girls, but I think I will have to revisit that one. I am sure there are other thai students who speak english at least a little. I wonder if the leaders just don't want to have to go...sigh.

The maid has set a new record...3 days! :) I am actually enjoying having a maid twice a week! It gives me a break and independence, but also help. So at least twice a week I play with Isaac all day long while the maid cleans the entire house! I really like Khun Jim, she has been a gem so far. She doesn't speak much english, but she is soft spoken and a very hard worker.

David went to school with Ava today to attend her field trip to the "OpenZoo" which is a preserve where you drive through a large open area with zebra, giraffe, monkeys etc and feed them. Apparently you can pet them too which idea Ava was bonkers about. Hopefully David took some good pictures!

I feel much more positive this week than last. I spent some time last weekend trying to remember what it means to submit to all the will of the Lord. He places experiences in my path, and He will go through them with me if I let Him. Trying to run away or demand another route isn't submission. Feeling sorry for myself isn't faith. Depression isn't trust or hope. I am so grateful things are ok this week!

So I try again...

Living here has become a round of trying again. I went to another organized meet and greet of sorts for moms with pre-schoolers yesterday. It was held on the fourth floor of the Holiday Inn on the beach in Pattaya. I have yet to find an instant bond with anyone, and having just come from 9 years of creating bonds it has been a difficult adjustment to floating outside the currents of friendship here. 

I rode the elevator up with butterflies in my stomach. Even after decades of working on being more outgoing and having numerous positive experiences with making friends, I still struggle with fear in new circumstances. It's almost like dating, this dance of the mommies, and an event like this one is almost speed dating. You follow your child around the pool, or the music room, hoping to engage another mom with eye contact, perhaps a smile..."How old is he/she?" is the standby initial foray into uncharted waters.

The elevator dinged, swaying slightly-- the assuring way in which thai elevators announce they have mostly stopped and you may disembark. I pushed Isaac before me and around the corner to behold a swarm of strollers and bouncing heads filling the deck ahead. I exhaled slowly and cautiously worked my way to the table to pay my "donation" to the event and wondered how this might possibly be fun.

I asked the age of another mother's child 4 times. I  talked with a South African neighbor of mine for 10 minutes twice and chatted with a Japanese mom, a korean (I think) mom,  and a British mum. My neighbor is very pretty interior designer with two small kids. I really like her, but worry about clinging...so I allowed the conversation to ebb and moved on. Maybe I just am too fragile for awkward silence that stretches longer than 10 seconds. I hate dating moms, it's as bad as dating guys!! 

The Japanese mom has an adorable little girl and speaks very good English, the child next to hers splashes water all over us all and we laughed. Our eyes met and she asks where I am from. When I replied "America", she smiled widely "I went to a college in Tulsa Oklahoma!" I smiled back, "That must be why your English is so good!" 

She accepted the complement and remarked "You are the only American I have met since I have been here", and how long has she been here? Two years...the conversation ebbs again. I move on...

Her words stay with me...I do feel like the Only American sometimes. There are big groups of Asians, Russians, Brits and Aussies. More S Africans than Americans...I feel alone again.

So I try again at the end of music time..."How old is he?" I ask a lanky curly brown haired woman. "Fifteen months" she answers and I recognize the same anxiousness in her eyes. Harriet has been here 3 months, and is from Kent England. She has FOUR kids, the first woman I've meet with more than three here! She told me I'd won the prize for most kids in the group. I just smiled. I think that no one else wanted to win that here anyways, ah well.

She waved as I left and reminded me about wiggletown on Wednesday...maybe I'll try once more tomorrow.

So shortly after arriving home the bell rang. A thai woman who is a maid at the neighbors has another thai maid in tow...word obviously had spread of the first and last maid's departure. NO need for craigslist here!!! She acted as translator between the unemployed maid and I.

 I had decided over the weekend that I didn't enjoy the everyday idea, and told her I was looking for only 2 days a week. This maid was agreeable to the idea, though who knows how long she will stay?! So viola I had a new maid come today! She doesn't speak more than 10 words in english so I will have to try again to learn a new language. It's funny how french and mandarin words come to mind constantly here...my mind is always wondering how I might ask things in thai and those two languages pop up as I remember the appropriate words I learned long ago. I have actually been amazed how much I do remember. But I have also been reluctant to learn thai as I realized how easy it was to get by here with only english. 

David has encouraged me to learn thai as he says this will help me feel at home and part of this crazy environment. So today I tried a new phrase...taan laao set wan ni-- "You are finished for today"--- I tried out some other ones but failed miserably. The maid and I just laughed. Maybe I will try again to learn another language that is not mine...

Didn't the maid do a good job? The floors are all sparkly clean. The repair guys also fixed the ac in the master bedroom which went out last night. Had to wake up and shower again just from sleeping!...Productive day at home!

This place is so challenging for me and everyday is really just trying again in so many ways. Very few things are comfortable and so many are overwhelming. But all I can do is try again.

Living in a society post-coup

Living in the US I would read the headlines, "Ukraine in Turmoil", "Syria Civil War", and pause. Shaking my head at the poor people and wondering how people survive living in these situations, I would go shopping at Target or off to another soccer game.
I can't pretend to understand yet how it feels to be in a life-threatening situation, but now I am beginning to understand what an unstable country feels like. On one hand you expect developments all the time and it feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop, on the other hand there is apathy and many people just put their head down and try to go on with business as usual.
The chief of police in the town closest to us went missing as the navy took over last night. The kids are home due to the government shutting down all schools. Should I take Analeah to the mall to shop for a prom dress? Is there going to be a prom as the new curfew is 10pm to 5am and prom was supposed to go late and is it safe to shop? Pattaya business owners will be losing lots of money over the curfew. Is there going to be a lot of tension broiling? Everyone is just holding their breath and hoping to come up for normal life air any minute.
I wonder if I should be stock-piling rice (The mormon in me response I know!) I wonder if I should be buying plane tickets to go home this summer.
Living in Thailand I read the headlines, "Coup Leader is new PM", "Dem's Chuan warns party members not to express political opinions", "A Reckless Coup", and pause. What do I do? Anything different than normal? I think I might try shopping for food and check out the mall. Then I check the headlines again...




We got caught in the early version of this Bangkok congestion last night as people hurried home to keep curfew...took us 3 hours to get home instead of 1.5 hours.

Things ain't what they seem...

So, Hannah got my blogger problems solved...when we got to Thailand I discovered that many websites automatically configured to Thai...including blogger. Go figure. Makes it hard to navigate! I can't believe that this week we will have been here an entire month already!! So much has happened and I only have an hour before isaac wakes up from his afternoon nap...so I will just recap the last 4 days!!
How I got a maid and lost her: The second week in the house we had thai women ringing the gate bell (like a door bell) every few days looking for maid work. Man does word get out in Thailand when a new expat familiy moves into the neighborhood! After interviewing several maids I decided I wanted to definately have an english speaking maid and not a nanny. I wanted to be the one taking care of Isaac. Problem #1 is : Apparently there are less english speaking women who want to be maids. Go figure. Problem #2, NO one has any work references, and if they do, it's from someone who has left the country and you don't have any way to contact them. Kinda convienient for thai maids with questionable histories. So I decided to plunge after speaking with several neighbors about wages, normal hours, what you can expect as to documentation and work history and etc. I hired "Ta" who was a 40 something thin thai woman with pretty good english. her husband worked for GM and she lived down the road in a thai village that is fairly prosperous (IE real homes and no garbage piling every side street). Ta started last Thursday. She walked in and dug right into the kitchen, cleaning dishes and wiping counters. Then she swept the floors and mopped the entire ground level. Then we went shopping and she helped me buy a fan and pick out thai cleaning supplies (cheaper than imported but you do need to know what does what...). Friday she did dishes, swept upstairs, did laundry, ironed 7 shirst, cleans 3 bathrooms and watched Isaac while I folded clothes. I let her go a 1/2 hour early as I was actually kinda sick of her. Apparently she felt the same...Monday morning she came in and announced she was having back pain over the weekend and needed to see a doctor and so couldn't work. She swept downstairs, I paid her for two days and she left. I checked to make sure I had all my keys, passports and money. I didn't find myself missing anything so far...so I count myself lucky.



This is my kitchen this morning, floors need to be mopped again, laundry waiting to be done, counters a bit askew with papers. I am kinda relieved...having a maid was a little exhausting. I can't believe I just said that!

Going to church in Bangkok.

I have never seen a city as large as Bangkok. I wish I could take a panoramic photo. Take this one and 360 it:

The city goes off in skyscrappers in every direction. I can't imagine how you would ever get familiar with it all. Our driver Khun Chiaporn is amazing and took us straight to church the first week even though he'd never been there before. IT is a little tiny side street off a very busy thoroughfare that you would never suspect contained anything of note. I will post pics next time we go. We attend every first and third week right now in Bangkok, and at members homes here near Pattaya other weeks. This last week, during RS, an announcement was made that a Bro Josh (something) had been atttacked on his way to church and that the high priests were going to visit him in the hospital and to have everyone pray for him. Apparently he was walking just a few streets away from the train station and got mugged over an ipad. This country is wild.

First date night in 2 months:

Saturday night David and I went to a neighborhood, adult only, dinner at this hotel called the Pullman in Pattaya:

This is the restaurant at the hotel where we ate. It was after dark (It gets dark at 6:30pm every day here) and we were seated under the tallest coconut trees in this pic, right by the ocean. There was live music and a seafood buffet. The pool lights were on and there was an amazing breeze off the ocean. We were horribly late as David spent the afternoon hawking with Thai merchants over dell laptops for Analeah and got a version of windows which I questioned as authentic. Turns out he made a good choice despite my concerns, and turns out I made a good choice of husband as he forgave me for my inquisition. But it all took time and we almost didn't go. In being married for almost 18 years though, we have learned one thing: things change. Evenings that start out rocky can end up enchanting. Days that nosedive can pull it out. So we turn to the Lord and somehow perspectives change, moods lighten and we are always grateful we went on the date. We have never claimed to have a perfect marriage, and I don't foresee that changing. I was reminded Saturday night though that we have a good marriage, and why that is--we both believe in Jesus Christ and believe Him that we can repent and change. So we try again. Date nights are the BEST.

 Never. Stay. Home. 

Lastly:

Isaac is a crawling fiend! He has more than adequate climbing ability to get into trouble already! His most recent accomplishments have been getting up into the dishwasher while my back was turned (I had put the empty rack on the floor and was putting glasses from the top away), climbing up three steps when I ran to grab laundry from my room (I had left him 20 feet away at the couch), and into a cupboard. These cupboards are gonna kill us both. They open way too easy and there are no child proofing systems here. (Didn't think of that before we moved). So...can't wait to get those baby gates!

He is the proud owner of 6 fully vested teeth, with numbers 7 & 8 making their way through. He bites everything and me with vigor. But cries if I gasp in pain. A sensitive vampire soul.

The kids are doing ok. Analeah has prom next week, we are supposed to go to Bangkok on Thursday for visa/ work permit completions. We are planning on shopping at the mall across the street from the visa building for a dress. We will see how the political process falls out over the next couple days. Things seem to be churning as normal, but everyone just is holding their breath I think.

I could write lots more about our asian mattress (really just think about sleeping on your boxspring and that is an absolutely accurate picture), dead cockroaches, hanging out with the principle and having seminary with all 4 kids...but I am exhausted and I only have one maid now...me! Look me up on skype family! We are open to talk Sat and Sunday nights--so your fri nights, sat mornings and sun mornings...love and miss you all!!!

Deck inna Day

So today was general conference, and we worked all day. I was sad to miss, but we have so much to do. David is watching priesthood session (it's 9:30 pm and dark now), and we are planning on watching the sessions we missed our first weekend in thailand while we recuperate at the hotel. I missed sitting and enjoying being uplifted. Thank goodness we get to sit tomorrow. I tore a muscle in my stomach moving all our food storage last weekend (which goes to show how weak my core is...) and I haven't gotten to spend much time resting since. Luckily I seem to tolerate most movements fine.
  Today we put in all our new molding, tore off our front steps, painted, did laundry AND built a deck. In one day.

This morning we got up early, well 8:30 is early for a Saturday if you get up at 5:30am all week! And I went out to take a picture of our back view, before the building got started. The holes were already dug on Thursday. But nothing else was done. By 6:30 pm this evening the view drastically changed:

What a huge difference a few hours, and a few thousand dollars, made!! :) Our 20 by 16 foot deck is all done, except for the crushed stone, which cannot be installed due to the frost laws (it's too cold to haul for residential stone/mulch-- in fact there was light snow this morning on the grass which you can see in the tire tracks in the first picture!). Should be lifted in the next couple weeks. My favorite feature are the lighted stairs, the led lights are dusk/dawn auto lights...they look so pretty in the dark now.

I wish I could claim we did it ourselves, but in the time it took David and I to tear our the porch stairs, put in the molding and caulk it all, two guys from Cedar Works Deck Co whipped this deck out. I don't think they stopped moving for 8.5 hours straight. Pretty cool.

Time for bed.

The Chaos before the storm

The cherrios crunch underfoot as I clear dishes from our table covered in dropcloths. Mess, yes mess is an ordinary thing. Five kids worth of mess chew through me every day and spit me out.

This though, this is not ordinary.

Boxes of refugee books litter the living room, torn from shelving and left to wander from room to room awaiting a permanent home. The air purifier runs nonstop to alleviate the drywall dust from the basement and endless sanding of patched walls. Brand new carpet lies under old area rugs en route to our Thailand house which has not an inch of soft flooring. Painting paraphernalia peppers every room, and endless baby toys creep underfoot.  Papers are everywhere, they bury our lives in homework, visa applications, school separation packages, deck contracts, parent teacher conference schedules, and sticky notes for every job still left undone... 

The kitchen is barely discernible under the weight of life. Paint cans, spices, pancakes and food storage cans all share the island; while dinner and breakfast plates sit side by side near the sink. I can't keep up with the garbage, I swear two bags go out every few hours. Diapers, old molding, papers (endless as mentioned before), bread crusts (Ava detests those), and an ever increasing variety of food storage dinners make it into the trash. (Anyone know a great recipe that involves a lot of freeze dried green peppers, chopped onion, dried apples, oatmeal, and honey??)

The ladder has sat here for two weeks. There is a spot on the ceiling that is Kiltz'd. I need to paint it. Enough said.

The dining room is no longer one. IT is the "painted molding central-food storage rest stop". Luckily most of the 40 boxes of food storage are now gone to good homes. The random guitar, we have 4, patiently waits for someone to claim it.

The only room in the house that is done is the laundry room, which ironically is home to the never done laundry.

I am quite proud of this room which David and I finished with recycled cabinets. We did everything except the sanding and painting. Framing, plumbing,tiling, flooring custom riser. It's finished after two years. If you drop by today and don't find me upstairs, I may well be curled up in the corner of the laundry room chanting, "not leaving in 2 weeks and 6 days...not possible" over and over.